A good parent wants to keep their child on track and they don’t want their kids hanging out with the wrong crowd.
This article is designed to show you how you can stop that at the earliest possible moment.
No Good Parent Wants Their Child To Go Off The Rails
Kids go off the rails when they lack positive adult energy. This means, that a good parent just needs to give their child some positive adult energy to stop them going astray.
Now that might sound too simplistic. And in a way it is. In it’s simplest terms a good parent keeps their child on track by basically giving them time and a listening ear.
But let’s move the idea of positive adult energy into an every day situation so you can see how this stops a child going off the rails.
Let’s start when a child is young…
When kids are young they’ll come and sit on you or stand at your side when they need your energy. It’s like they naturally know they need you. A good parent with good intuitive skills will notice this and respond. But if you don’t pay attention here’s what will happen…
If you don’t pay your child attention, your child will escalate their behaviour. They might tug at you, nudge you or put their face in front of yours. If you still don’t give them attention they’ll probably try to hurt you or may damage something in the house or do something they know is naughty.
Over time, they may just skip coming to your side and just do the thing that gets them attention they want fast.
Remember, to kids even negative attention is better than no attention.
So, a good parent has the choice to act when there is no problem or act when their is a problem. Here’s the difference that makes…
It’s the difference between acting in kindness or acting in anger.
You just have to notice your child’s need and choose to give them a little of your attention now, rather than later when you have a problem or stress.
How does this relate to being a good parent and keeping your child on the rails so they don’t end up hanging with the wrong crowd?
How A Good Parent Can Keep Older Kids On Track
As kids grow up the time spans move. But the behaviour stays the same…
Now rather than stand by you or tug at you they’ll come and ask you for something. If they don’t get a response, they’ll get more in your face. If they still don’t get what they want the next thing you know is you have a call from the school, an angry neighbour or other parent calling you or on your doorstep.
And of course I know you are there for your kids if ever they need to talk, but…
In the ideal world you’ll put time aside to have quality time together each day. Here you’ll listen to them and get updates on where they’re at. Doing something like this is proactive. It heads off misunderstandings. You’ll want your child to feel heard and give them the chance to express their opinion and talk through the frustrations of the day.
If you do this you create safety for them. They feel part of something. They value you.
And don’t worry if everything you hear is negative. Some time ago I asked my daughter why when she came home from school she always complained. Her answer was both revealing and complimentary.
She said speaking to me allowed her to get her frustrations out. She said she didn’t necessarily need to solve things, just speak. She also said doing that helped her to return to happiness.
Even Good Parents Can’t Do Everything…
I know that sometimes it’s not possible to spend time daily with your child. Also, depending on their age your children they might not want to talk to you much.
As they grow older they will be out with their friends, on the phone to their friends, tucked away in their room, on Facebook… the list goes on.
And you’re busy with your work, you’re keeping the house going, you’re making sure everyone gets chauffeured to where they need to be and on time and gets dinner and you’ve got a social life too… right?!
So my solution to this has been to set aside a time each week, even if it’s just 30 minutes where the two of us can just sit and have 1-2-1 time on a Saturday morning. It goes in the diary or on the calender like everything else. When I do this I know I’m being a good parent because I am meeting my child’s needs.
I would recommend at least 30 minutes as a minimum. It’s a lifeline for your kids. It’s the way you will potentially save them from hanging out with the wrong crowd too.
Here Are Some Tips For A Good Parent
Ideally, you’ll listen to your children without judgement. This means you listen and listen and listen and you avoid jumping in to correct them or tell them what to do or how to do things better.
When you want to jump in and teach try to avoid it and instead ask things like: “How do you want this to work out?” Or you can say: “What help would you like from me?”
If you just listen to your kids, and you make it easy for them to talk to you, you’ll know where they are. You’ll know who they are. They’ll trust you and value you. You’ll know if they really need help and you’ll know how to steer them back on course when they drift off.
If they don’t want to talk to you (this happens in the early days when you make more time for them) maybe just have a drink together. Ask them about their new download or talk about the next family outing together. Conversations don’t need to be problem solving or a highly productive or intellectually bonding experience. Sometimes it’s great just connecting with them regularly. Doing this creates the all-important space for them to open up to you if they need to and for you to get a feel for where they are in their life.
If you can do this, when they reach teenage, you will prolong your influence on them. They’ll trust your judgement and their own. Rather than separating from you and drifting off with kids you’d mush rather they didn’t, they’ll choose to do things with you and invite mature friends along to join them and you.
I hope this article on being a good parent and helping your child not hang out with the wrong crowd has been helpful. If you enjoyed it click the “like” button and share it with your friends. Also take a look at our FREE guide> It’s great for any parent who is already a good parent and wants to be better. The guide is called Nurturing Rituals For Kids. You can sign up for this above.